Anti-Worship

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."  (Psa. 139:23-24)

It's a little disturbing to us that David equates anxious thoughts with an "offensive way" in this psalm.  We're anxious by nature, frequently wondering how things will turn out for us.  We know bad things happen to all kinds of people, and it's only natural for us to worry that they might happen to us.  Life can be stressful.  So what's wrong with being stressed?

Think of what our anxiety says about God.  When we harbor anxious thoughts, we are saying that the One who has promised to take care of our future (Jeremiah 29:11) might not do a good job of it.  It says that the One who has promised to walk us through the waters and not to allow the fire to burn us (Isaiah 43:2) might abandon us to the waters and the fire.  And it says that His presence in the valley of the shadow of death (Psalm 23:4) might not be enough to calm us.  We don't realize it, but our emotions often tell our Provider that we don't think we'll have enough provision, tell our Savior that we're afraid of not being saved, tell our Comforter that we're uncomfortable, and tell our Deliverer that we're sure we'll remain captive.  Our hearts actually slander Him when we don't trust His protection, His strength, and His love.  We don't mean to; we're just anxious.  But our anxiety can be awfully offensive.

Imagine a son lying awake at night wondering if his parents are going to feed him tomorrow.  Or a daughter wondering if she will have something to clothe herself in.  That might happen in some homes, but what does it say of the parents?  Nothing complimentary.

But we who worship God cannot praise Him with such insecurities.  Our fears are a form of anti-worship - a clear declaration that our God might not have promised us enough, or might not be able to follow through on what He has promised.  Yes, He will let us go through hard things, but never outside of His timing or beyond His protection.  So worship Him.  And don't worry about it.

"Anxiety comes from strain, and strain is caused by too complete a dependence on ourselves."  - Thomas Merton